Noticing
by xxLittle Black Dressxx
Summary: He told her that if she went missing, he'd notice. And he's not one to go back on a promise.


A/N: Just a little one-shot based off of what I think is the sweetest exchange ever on Grey's Anatomy. This story is very different from anything I've ever written on here, so I'd love to hear what you think. I hope you like it, and thank you so much for reading!

* * *

_**Noticing**_

_I'd notice.  
__What?  
__If you went missing…I'd notice._

Alex rolled over in bed, as he heard his daughter's cries over the baby monitor. He checked the clock on his nightstand and shook his head in amusement. 6 a.m. – his daughter was already so much like her mother, who, even on her days off, was up at the crack of dawn. He looked over at Addison's side of the bed and sighed before making his way into his daughter's room.

"Hey, Kylie," he cooed to his daughter. "Happy first birthday, sweetheart." He couldn't believe it had been a year already; to him, it still felt like yesterday.

He gently lifted his daughter out of her crib and rubbed gentle circles on his daughter's back, trying to soothe her. "You know, you look more and more like you mommy every day," he told Kylie softly, as he continued to cradle her against his chest. It was the truth – Kylie had gotten Alex's nose and smile, but everything else was all Addison.

"Do you have another tooth coming in?" Alex asked softly, when he noticed his daughter grabbing at her mouth. "Let's see," he said, as he gently pulled opened his daughter's mouth with his thumb and index finger; sure enough, there was a swollen bulge, where she was cutting another tooth. "Oh, poor thing," he said sympathetically, as he carried Kylie downstairs to the kitchen, and removed from the refrigerator one of the teething rings that his always-prepared wife had purchased before Kylie was even born, and handed it to his daughter.

"Here you go," he smiled, as his daughter brought the teething ring to her mouth. "I bet you didn't think I'd notice that you were cutting another tooth, did you? But let me tell you something, sweetie, I'll always notice you."

_Noticing_. It was the controlling theme of Alex's life…well, for the part of his life that mattered most to him anyway.

It was noticing that allowed him to get Addison back after she left Seattle and moved to L.A. He still remembered the conversation (or perhaps, more accurately, the confrontation) like it was yesterday.

"_Dr. Montgomery," Alex called out, as he pushed his way past the confused looking surfer-boy at the practice's front desk, without bothering to give his name or an explanation of why he was there._

_Addison stopped in her tracks at the sound of the familiar voice. "Alex?" she said in surprise. "Al, I mean, Karev, what are you doing here?" she asked, doing her best to sound professional. _

"_I," Alex stammered, unable to form words; he knew this could potentially be the most important conversation of his life, and he didn't want to screw it up._

"_Did Richard send you?" Addison asked when Alex met her first question with silence._

_Alex shook his head. "The Chief doesn't know I'm here. Nobody knows I'm here."_

"_Okay," Addison said slowly. "Why are you here?"_

_Alex swallowed hard. He wasn't used to being vulnerable; but Addison was worth it. "I'm here for you," he said softly._

"_You're here for me?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously._

"_Yeah," Alex breathed. "I'm here for you."_

"_Why?" Addison asked. "Did things not work out with Ava? Did you come to me for a quick screw?"_

"_I don't know where Ava is," Alex admitted. "And I don't care. When I got to the hospital, she was gone, and I didn't chase after her. I don't want her. I want you. That's why I'm here. I'm chasing after you. I want you."_

"_You said you weren't interested."_

"_I think we both know that that was a lie."_

"_You told me I wasn't your-"_

"_I was scared," Alex interrupted. "You were married to Derek Shepherd…you dated Mark Sloan; I could never compete with guys like that. And then Ava heard you and Callie saying that I could be the type of guy you saw yourself settling down with…the type of guy who barbeques and teaches little kids to play catch, and I got scared. So I pushed you away before I could hurt you…you know, because I didn't want to hurt you like Shepherd and Sloan hurt you. I just, I hadn't counted on pushing you all the way to L.A."_

"_Alex."_

"_And now you're missing, and I notice. I notice it all the time. The hospital's not the same without you. I'm not the same without you. And you…you're not the same either. I've been in this place for all of two minutes, and I could tell from the second I stepped off the elevator that this place isn't you. You went missing, and I noticed. And I'm here to bring you back."_

"_Alex, I'm not going back."_

"_You know, one of the last things you told me before you left is that nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life. I don't want to miss this opportunity, Addison. And the Addison I know…well, she'd want to take this chance too."_

"_Alex, it's not that simple," Addison sighed. "My life is here now."_

_Alex swallowed hard. "One drink," he bargained._

"_What?"_

"_One drink," he repeated. "At Cristina and Burke's wedding, I asked you to ditch the reception and grab a drink with me, and you turned me down. You owe me a drink."_

"_I don't owe you a drink," Addison said matter-of-factly._

"_One drink," Alex repeated. "Have one drink with me and if, after that, you still want to go our separate ways, I'll go back to Seattle and you can stay here at your lame-ass private practice. So, what do you say…one drink?"_

"_It's the middle of the day, Alex. I have work."_

_Alex looked around. "I don't see any patients," he pointed out smugly._

_Addison couldn't help cracking a smile. "Fine," she conceded. "One drink." _

"I brought drinks," Izzie called out, as she let herself into Alex's house.

"Great," Alex responded. "We're in the living room."

"Happy first birthday, Kylie," Izzie smiled, as she walked into the living room to find Alex sitting on the couch with Kylie on his lap. "I picked up some drinks for your birthday party, this afternoon," she cooed to her niece, before gently kissing her on the forehead. "Well, you can't drink most of them, but still…" she trailed off, placing a box full of alcohol down on the living room table.

"Geez, Iz, that's a lot of alcohol," Alex commented. "There aren't going to be that many of us."

"Well, I wanted to make sure that I got something for everybody," Izzie defended, as she began removing bottles of alcohol from the cardboard box, on the table. "Let's see, there's beer for you and George, scotch for Shepherd and Sloan, tequila for Meredith and Cristina, wine for me. I don't know what Callie or Bailey or Lexie drink, but I'm sure they'll be able to find something. And a bunch of different juices for the kids."

"Thanks, Iz," Alex smiled appreciatively, making a mental note to pick up the ingredients for martinis when he went out to get Kylie's birthday cake.

He glanced at his watch (an anniversary gift from Addison), and realized that it was starting to get late. "I, uh, I think I'm gonna go out and pick up Kylie's cake now," he told Izzie.

"Okay," Izzie nodded. "You know, I'm still a little offended you didn't let me bake your daughter's first birthday cake. I'm as good as any bakery; you know that."

"I know you are, Iz" Alex agreed. "But this bakery is special…to me…and to Addison."

"I know," Izzie smiled. "Do you need me to do anything for you while you're out?"

Alex looked down at his daughter. "She's been fed and bathed, but, uh, if you wouldn't mind getting her dressed…that would be a big help."

"Sure," Izzie agreed.

"Great. Her dress is already laid out on her changing table."

"It's such a cute little dress," Izzie complimented. "Mini-Addie is going to look adorable in it."

Alex nodded in agreement. He remembered the day that he, Izzie, and Meredith went shopping for Kylie's dress. They were in one of those fancy baby boutiques that Addison loved, and Alex felt completely lost.

"I love this one," Izzie squealed, holding up a tiny pale pink dress with a white bow around the waist.

"I don't know," Alex admitted, as he bounced Kylie gently in his arms. They'd been in the store for less than five minutes, and she was already getting fussy. Clearly, Kylie was not her mother's daughter when it came to shopping. He had a feeling that would change, though. He ran his hand over a silky, beige dress, and immediately thought of Addison; it was almost the exact color and material of the dress that she had worn the night they had gotten married.

"_I love you," Addison murmured to Alex over her martini._

_Alex took a sip of his beer, and kissed her softly. "I love you too, Mrs. Montgomery-Karev."_

"_Hey, that's Dr. Montgomery-Karev to you," Addison teased._

"_Right," Alex laughed, and looked around. "Hey, I think we're the only ones on this entire island not drinking tropical drinks."_

"_Probably," Addison laughed. "But tropical drinks aren't really us."_

_They had run off together, and gotten married in Hawaii. She had already done the big church wedding with all her family and friends, and it wasn't exactly something she wanted to do again; and he never wanted the big church wedding with all his family and friends, in the first place. So, running off to Hawaii together to get married was the perfect solution._

"_What are we gonna tell everyone when we get back to Seattle?" Addison asked. They hadn't told anyone that they were getting married – just picked up and went to Hawaii._

"_That we're married and that we're happy," Alex answered, kissing her softly. "Besides, it really shouldn't come as that much of a surprise to anyone. We've been together for over a year now."_

_Addison looked at her husband skeptically._

"_Okay," Alex conceded. "People are gonna be shocked beyond belief when we come back married. But I don't care."_

"_I don't care either," Addison smiled, gently caressing Alex's cheek with her hand, before leaning in and kissing him softly._

"_Hey, Addie," Alex breathed, when they broke apart._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Dance with me?"_

_Addison smiled. "Okay," she agreed, as her husband took her hand and led her out onto the beach where a Hawaiian band was playing._

_Alex pulled her in close, and as they swayed together, he promised himself that he'd never forget the way she looked in the silky, beige dress she was wearing. "Thank you," he whispered against her hair._

"_For what?" she murmured._

"_For noticing me."_

"_Isn't that supposed to be my line?" Addison asked._

_Alex shook his head. "No," he said softly. "You were the first one to really see me…to make me realize that I'm not a jackass…that I'm a decent guy. Thank you. Thank you for noticing, Addison."_

"_You're more than a decent guy, Alex. You're an amazing guy, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Alex."_

"_I love you too, Addie. And I love this dress," he complimented, his hand lightly grazing the silky material. "Although, I think I'd like it better on the floor of our hotel room."_

"_Hmm," Addison said, smiling coyly. "I think that can be arranged."_

"Hey, Kylie, let's go upstairs and put your pretty dress on," Izzie cooed to her niece, ripping Alex from his thoughts. She turned to Alex. "It's a very pretty dress," she reassured him. "You made the right choice."

In the end, Alex had taken Izzie and Meredith's advice, and had chosen the pale pink dress with the white bow for Kylie. Both Izzie and Meredith had assured him that it was a very Addison dress, but Alex wasn't entirely convinced.

Alex smiled at his daughter, who was still sitting happily in his lap. "I'll see you in a little while, okay, sweetie," he said, gently kissing his daughter's forehead, before handing her to Izzie. "Thanks again, Iz," he smiled. "I should be back within the hour."

"No problem," Izzie grinned, cuddling her niece close. "Come on, Kylie, say bye-bye to daddy."

Alex laughed as his daughter gurgled happily; then, waving goodbye to Kylie and Izzie, he hopped in his car, and drove to the bakery.

Wind chimes sounded as Alex opened the door to the bakery, and Alex couldn't help remembering the first time he came to the bakery with Addison.

"_You're gonna love this place, I swear," Addison insisted, as the wind chimes rang out softly as they entered the bakery. "They have the best triple berry cake I've ever tasted."_

_Alex looked at his wife suspiciously. He knew Addison liked dessert, but she wasn't one to have it very often. And it was just an ordinary day; they both had off from work, but they weren't celebrating anything, so Addison's instance upon going to the bakery for cake seemed surprising to him._

"_So, you want a piece of triple berry cake?" he asked his wife, as they approached the cash register. _

_Addison nodded. "What are you gonna get?"_

"_Hmm, the chocolate explosion cake sounds good."_

"_Good choice," Addison approved._

_Alex smiled at his wife, and gave their orders to a very friendly woman named Eleanor. "Oh, and two vanilla lattes," he added._

"_Actually," Addison cut in, "could you make mine a decaf vanilla latte, please?"_

_Eleanor smiled and nodded, and rang them up; and Alex couldn't help looking at his wife in surprise as he paid for their order. Addison was a surgeon; surgeons didn't do decaf._

"_Is there something you want to tell me?" Alex asked as he placed his and Addison's cake and coffee down on a table in the left corner of the bakery._

"_What are you talking about?" Addison asked in surprise, as she sat down at the table and took a sip of her latte._

_Alex gave his wife a sly smile. "I mean, I can't help noticing that you're eating cake and drinking a decaf vanilla latte. Addie…" he trailed off, a hint of excitement lacing his voice._

"_You notice everything!" Addison exclaimed. "I was going to tell you tonight over dinner. I can't believe you noticed."_

_Alex smiled widely. He and Addison had been trying for a baby for several months now. "Tell me anyway," Alex said softly. "It won't feel real until you tell me."_

"_Alex," she smiled, reaching across the table and taking his hands in hers, "we're having a baby."_

That table, in the left corner of the bakery, had served as the site of so many important moments between Alex and Addison. And as he walked over to his and Addison's table, Alex couldn't help remembering the good times that they had had there.

He and Addison became regulars at the bakery; Eleanor and the other bakers knew them by name, and knew their order by heart. Whenever they came in, he and Addison would always try to sit at their table. He always got a vanilla latte; she always got a decaffeinated version. She always ordered a piece of triple berry cake (because it had fruit, so she could pretend it was healthy), and he always got a piece of chocolate explosion cake. They always ended up switching halfway through.

It was at that table, in the left corner of the bakery, that they decided on the name Kylie for their daughter. Addison had, of course, been the one to suggest it, but he liked it immediately – it was cute and feminine, and a welcome change from all the other pretentious baby names that Addison had suggested.

Casting one last look at his and Addison's table, Alex made his way to the front of the bakery to pick up his order.

"Alex," Eleanor smiled. "Long time no see."

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "Um, I'm here to pick up-"

"Kylie's cake," Eleanor filled in. "It' right over here. What do you think?" Eleanor asked, lifting up the lid of the cake box to reveal a pale pink cake, with elegant white flowers, trimming the edges. _Happy 1__st__ Birthday Kylie_ was written in the center of the cake in flowing cursive.

"So what do you think?" Eleanor repeated. "Very Addison, right?"

"Yes," Alex nodded. "Very Addison. Eleanor, it's perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Eleanor smiled

"Hey, uh, Eleanor, would you mind adding a piece of triple berry cake and a piece of your chocolate explosion cake? To go," Alex added quickly. "Two forks."

"Sure," Eleanor nodded, putting the two pieces of cake into a small box, adding two forks, and ringing Alex up.

"Thanks again," Alex said, as he handed Eleanor his credit card.

"Anytime, Alex," Eleanor smiled. "And make sure you give Kylie a birthday kiss for me, okay?"

"Okay," Alex promised, before saying goodbye to Eleanor, and making his way out of the bakery and back to his car. And as he drove through the streets of Seattle, he thought about the past year, and about how much everything had changed.

Things had changed, and he had noticed. _Noticing._ It was funny how that had become the controlling theme of his life. He had promised Addison that if she went missing, he'd notice. And she was the first one to notice that he was decent guy; and she helped him notice that in himself too. He noticed that she was missing that time when she moved to L.A. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked, the night of their wedding, in her silky, beige dress. And he had noticed that she was pregnant before she had even announced it to him.

But noticing wasn't always a good thing. He learned that the hard way. Because when Addison was three weeks away from her due date, they noticed that she was bleeding. They were eating lunch together, in the hospital cafeteria, just like they did every day; she was complaining about abdominal pain, and just as Alex was about to suggest that she get checked out, they noticed she was bleeding.

She was quickly rushed into the O.R., while Alex waited outside feeling helpless. Placental abruption was what he heard the doctors whisper in hushed voices. He and Addison had dealt with several placental abruption cases throughout their careers, and most women usually pulled through.

But Addison wasn't most women. And as he took in Bailey and The Chief's downcast faces, as they emerged from the O.R. that Addison had been in, he knew that they had lost her.

"_Alex," Bailey said gently. "Alex, I'm so sorry."_

_Alex looked up, and tried to meet Bailey's eyes, but he could hardly see; his eyes were so blurred by his tears. _

"_Alex," Bailey repeated softly._

"_You, you have to say it," Alex choked out, tears streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks. "It isn't real until you say it."_

_Bailey swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry, Alex. We did everything we could for her. She just, she lost too much blood. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Alex."_

Alex wiped a tear from his eye with the sleeve of his shirt, as he parked his car in a familiar parking lot. He opened the door to the back seat, and pulled out the small box of triple berry and chocolate explosion cake, before closing the car door and walking to a place that, over the past year, had become very familiar.

"Hey, Addison," he said softly, sitting down on the grass in front of his wife's grave. "I- I can't believe it's been a year. I, uh, I brought some of that cake that we used to like so much," he said, as he opened the small box of cake that Eleanor had given him. "Triple berry because it has fruit, so we can pretend that it's healthy. And chocolate explosion because, well…it's what I always used to get."

Alex took his fork and, with a trembling hand, stuck it into the piece of chocolate explosion cake. He took a bite, but his throat was so dry and choked up, he could barely swallow it.

"You know," Alex choked out, as he wiped a tear from his eye, "I told you once that I'd notice…that if you went missing, I'd notice. Well, you're missing, Addie, and I notice. Today's our daughter's first birthday, and you're missing. And I notice. And I noticed you were missing last week, when I went with Izzie and Meredith to buy Kylie a dress for today. I didn't know which dress to choose, and Meredith and Izzie…they picked out a beautiful dress for Kylie, but it's not the dress you would have chosen. You would have chosen something amazing...you would have chosen something perfect. You were missing last week when we went dress shopping, and I noticed. And I notice that you're missing every day at the hospital. The NICU isn't the same…Seattle Grace isn't the same; you're missing, and I think everyone notices. And I notice you're missing every morning when I wake up and you're not there. And I notice you're missing every night when I go to sleep alone. I promised you once that I'd notice…that if you went missing, I'd notice. Well, you're missing, Addison. And I notice. I notice," he repeated, wiping a tear from his cheek. "Every day."


End file.
